Disciplining toddlers

Yet another facet to parenting with a million different 'techniques'. Expert advice is dished out and retracted years later when it has caused sufficient damage. We are judged for being too harsh, judged for being too soft.

My sister asked if she could look after my daughter for a night, she has called today in tears because she says she doesn't know how to handle the tantrums. Whether I am right or not is a different debate but my general way to deal with my daughters frequent tantrums is to not let her get what she wants but not force her to do anything either. Therefore if I say no to something and a tantrum follows I stick to my word but ignore the tantrum, she takes herself off and comes back when she has calmed down. She sometimes says sorry, she sometimes doesn't, I encourage apologising but don't dwell on it too much at this stage, she's only been able to physically say the word for a few months.

My sister has sat with her for a whole hour trying to force her to say the word sorry, she is two years old. She wouldn't let her come downstairs until she said sorry.

I am mad. She said she didn't want to let her win by giving in. Is it unreasonable that this has upset me?

Yummy mummying

I looked up some tips on writing a Blog before setting up this account and a tip that came up over and over was to pick a side, stay on it and be passionate. I'm going to struggle with that, I'm not a yummy mummy, I'm a wishy washy mummy. 

To me, yummy mummies aren't just well dressed, clean, slim, energetic mummies enjoying a second childhood and loving every minute. They are confident, they make choices and are happy with them. This is why I am a wannabe yummy mummy, so if I take the mick a little or tease when discussing these so called 'yummy mummies' please remember its only because I am jealous.

As a yummy mummy in training (pregnant) I had all the answers, I was willing to listen to advice and read everything I could find on pregnancy, childbirth, babies and beyond. I thought I knew what I wanted. Breastfeeding - definitely. Birth - had no plans and didn't really understand the importance of the 'experience' until it was finally over. Weaning - 6 months to the date. Weaning again - Baby led.......then my daughter was born and I lost the ability to think clearly, to make decisions. I've never second guessed so much in my life but every decision since the day of her birth has been agonised over, retracted and tried again. 

This is why I think you can't really generalise, for example 'yummy mummies breastfeed' - yes some do, and other yummies formula feed and are happy with their decision and don't feel the need to explain themselves. This is the way I feel mammying should be, we should be able to make choices for ourselves and our children without the judgement. Unfortunately its unescapable, we will be judged by our friends, our family, complete strangers and ourselves. 

I have less than a year left with my daughter before she goes off to nursery and I hope to become the confident mummy I always thought I'd be.